Kenosha, WI 2024
From Epic's service trip with Group Missions in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Did you notice that some of these windmills are gray and some are white? They're diversifying. But I notice the gray ones are going faster than the white ones.
- Micah
I'll be scarred for life. In a good way.
- Micah
*Schwan walks into the room*
It should be illegal to look that good.
- Kade
Ian: my dad still has a little weight to lose.
Zach: heads up, he's not even your dad.
You're gonna be an exotic male dancer someday.
- Ian to Zach
Caiden: I didn't bring my Switch dock, so we can't play Smash Bros. on the TV.
Jayden: how about we smash bros without the TV?
Think I can hitchhike through O-Block?
- Jacob
Max: Schwan, you're at least 5% black.
Schwan: why do you say that?
Max: oh, no reason.
Maybe the real O-Block was the friends we made along the way.
- Jacob
Tony is our Abraham Lincoln.
- Jayden
Zeke: *puts hand on shoulder* Schwan-dog is my hospital.
Schwan: heck does that mean.
Time flies on the clock when you're in O-Block.
- Micah
When you spread the peanut butter, keep your tongue in your mouth. Please.
- Grady
I don't eat anything with a vibrant color unless it's bad for you.
- Ely
Samuel: so, you know how some Mexicans were slaves?
Schwan: like, you mean by the Spanish conquistadores?
Samuel: yeah, I think they made my people slaves.
Schwan: I don't like where this is going.
Samuel: so I think I should be allowed to say the n-word.
One n-word a day keeps the sadness away.
- Samuel
I'm feeling ho-ho-holy in this sweater.
- Jacob
Ever see a horse on two legs? That's because they're always farting.
- Jacob
Micah: I feel like these blue gloves give me unrestricted access.
Schwan: what does that mean?
Micah: *giggles*
Can I have some of your nuts, Zach?
- Conner, enunciating tragically fast
Bro, tongue-mewing goes hard though.
- Zeke
I'm part of the Schwitler Youth.
- Jacob
Jacob: I'm gonna go find people in Dick's.
Zeke: in Soviet Russia--
Ever seen a twerking koi?
- Caiden
*hitting the ground with two screwdrivers*
I'm an archaeolologist.
- GS
Where's my SKIBIDI SLICERS???
- random kid at the Y
Shut up, you L sigma!!!
- another random kid
🎶️Speeeeedwaaay, have it your way🎶️
- yet another random kid
Justin: how was your day?
Max: I was taking things from the back.
Justin: wild.
No bear.
- everyone
If you get below 60 on an IQ test, aren't you, like, legally scooby-doo?
- Grady
Talk to me when you get your braces off, honeybuns.
- Jara to Grady
*wearing a blank nametag*
Somebody come write a slur on this.
- Zach
*drops and scatters a deck of cards on the ground*
Noooo! I just 52-card-pickup'd myself!
- Jacob
Why would you bring your raincoat? It's just rain.
- Jacob
I just learned a lot about taxes in my sleep.
- Conner
Caiden: *points to underwear he just changed into* Yo Schwanny, drip or drop?
Schwan: ...what are you planning to do if I say "drop"?
Schwanny, I think you tripped and fell in the sand back there.
- Zach
Carson's just a sweat at everything. Like, stop sweating, Jesus already loves you.
- Grady