Memphis 2025

So I was road-raging to Hatsune Miku last night.

- Kyle

I don't know trees.

- Haley

In Soviet Russia, copyright infringe you.

- Schwan

When it gets hot out, I get really, really freaky.

- Jacob

I'm Jewing it.

- Kyle

Happy 40th, Mike!

- every poker chip

Max: We did a 25-minute mile this morning.

Ely: That's slower than a walking pace.

Conner: yeah, because we're fat.

Ely: No, you're poofy.

Maybe the real tikis are the friends we made along the way.

- Jacob

Zeke: is that Squirtle?

Kyle: it's Winnie the Pooh.

It's "Bass Pro Shops," you illiterate twink.

- Kyle

Greetings, huzz.

- Kyle

I am not making new friends. Like, who do you think I am?

- Kyle

We should bond over some sus stuff later.

- Grady

Zeke: I figured it out! I'm actually not bisexual, I'm just desperate.

Jacob: I read him the part in the Bible about homosexuality.

Tony: Taking traffic cones is stealing! Somebody paid for them.

Jayden: The Lord. He paid for our sins; he paid for our cones.

We are now entering pookiespace.

- Kyle

Spicy

- every bridge, for no reason

SLOW DOWN MEMPHIS

- every overhead roadsign, for...a reason

Are you segregating robots from women? I mean, people?

- Micah

Addy: I like necrophilia.

Kaden (relieved): Oh, I thought you said negrophilia for a sec.

Schwan: ...So what she actually said is fine then?

Your biceps are abnormally large. What's your workout routine? What's your protein intake?

- videographer to Zach, in the middle of tug-o'-war

I've got stick drift IRL.

- Kyle

How can you expect to win a civil war if you're not civil?

- Kyle

Inquiring minds near you.

- Kyle

Mama raised quitters, I guess.

- Grady

Kyle: I have a knife and you don't. Just remember that.

Zeke: I have a stomach.

Kyle: Not for long.

I am a Holy Spirit jockey.

- Kyle

Despite what you may have heard, I am not irradiated. There is no proof.

- Kyle

Grippers, grippers, grippers. It's always grippers with you. Have you ever thought about JESUS?

- Jacob

We live in America. Fracking is in our blood.

- Kyle

Psst, look. Pocket tortilla.

- Caiden

Stop putting your arms out. You look like you got crucified.

- Jacob

I like it in the closet.

...I regret saying that.

- Kyle

Thad: If you don't spend at least a grand on your girlfriend every week, what are you even doing?

Grady: Right. It's called love.

JC Penney? Uhh, yeah, I sure HOPE it does.

- Kyle