Nashville 2016

I like working! I just need a job.

- Liam

I have gentle OCD.

- Daniel

This shirt gives me PTSD.

Schwan: Then why are you wearing it?

Daniel: Because I WANT PTSD!

Caleb: Where did you get your kids? They're so weird!

Micah: Well, we found Ian at the adoption center.

And soon, Martha Stewart is gonna be on the $5 bill!

- Liam

Real men defecate the way lesser men urinate.

- Nathan

There are times when I would love the smell of chloroform.

- Caleb

I'm very good at crossing lines that are hard to cross.

- Caleb

The word "microbiome" makes me think of an apple tree growing in your intestines.

- Caleb

The temperature went straight from Antarctica to Satan's living room.

- Christen

Aww, I'm sitting by myself! Please come turn my island into a peninsula.

- Christen

How would you feel about being called Benadryl Jesus?

- Nathan

Nathan is a pulsing sack of rash.

- Daniel

Ross: I didn't even register that you were wearing pants.

Caleb: yep, he mentally erased them.

Everyone has been trained all throughout high school not to listen to me, and now I'm paying for it.

- Caleb

My wife and I were supposed to share this cigarette, and it's almost gone now, so I need to go find her.

- Banjo Guy

It wasn't his butt-butt, it was his side-butt!

- Destini

Oh look, a mouse!

- Matthew (gentelman with down syndrome)

Apparently light green is a color now.

- Liam

Tomato, tomahto, placebo, placenta...

- Schwan, after Liam made just such a substitution

Get your own mouse.

- Christen

I think deep down, I'm actually left-handed.

- Caleb

If I were in a hospital, they'd have me scheduled for a C section.

- Daniel

Shhh, she's not done pickling!

- Christen

He's not the kind of guy you'd look at and think, "I'll bet he cries about peanut butter in the morning."

- Christen

Never before have I thought I would be reincarnated as a dancing celery god.

- Daniel

Sick wheels!

- Morgan, to security guards riding Segways

I never thought I'd have a bathroom-stall-resonating session with Caleb.

- Daniel

I've never felt so Southern: playing with NASCAR-themed cards while eating a burger in a bar

- Daniel

What does it feel like to work for Satan?

- Adam

Group B, as in buh-bye.

- Christen

I don't think I trust anything half-and-half from you.

- Destini to Trevor

Park without Parkinson's.

- Nathan

This is like the Michael Bublé of salsa.

- Alison